Category: LGBT Discussion
Hi all,
I need a bit of help from those who have come out to their families. You see, I've had crushes on girls before. Up until awhile ago, I questioned my sexuality. I didn't know if the crushes were the real thing, or just a faze. I have done a lot of soul searching and asked myself a lot of questions. I can picture myself having a relationship with a woman. I am happy to say that I am a proud bisexual. Now that I've figured out for sure what I am, I feel happier. I've come out to a few people who I knew would be accepting, but I haven't come out to my whole family yet. I know that there will be some people who will accept it and be happy for me, and some people who will think it's just a faze and just shrug it off. I have a boyfriend, and I'm going to tell him soon. I don't want to leave him in the dark. I know he'll accept it, but it's my family that I'm worried about. I feel that the more that the people I care about know, the happier I'll be. Thanks,
Leslie
I'm not gay, so I can only offer you the experience of being on the witnessing side. You're giving people information they didn't ask for, so you're going to find indifference in a mixture of support and rejection. Those who love you may need a bit of time to get over the shock of new information, but most people will come around. Those who don't are a sad loss, but your life will improve overall for it.
Good luck and be confident in how awesome you are to the people you know.
I am also not bisexual, but am extremely sexual, in that I have no race or age requirement except for legal and 21. This is difficult for people to understand.
Your sexual self is just that, your sexual self. Why does it require "coming out?"
Seems to me if you do as you wish, and approach people you are interested in, than your sexuality is known to the people that are directly affected by it. Family members will either learn of it, because you are seen being publicly intimate with a femaile, or male for that matter, or they won't.
Being proud doesn't mean you need to flaunt, or wear a sign on your back stating "I am a bisexual person!" Just be, like you are a beautiful sexually free women, or you have brown hair, or you are 5 feet 3 inches tall. It doesn't need to be explained, and you'll find as said some people will except it, and others will simply not.
When it comes to sex, and sexuality moral, religious, values get in the way of understanding.
In my opinion you have already "come out" because you have now decided what you are and excepted it.
Last, you run the risk of losing your current boyfriend, or having hom trying to prove to you that male is the only way, but this is something that must be done. If he is excepting, than you both will have a better, and freer relationship, if not it will be better to move on, because this will cause many problems.
I totally agree with for real in the sense that coming out does not have to be an active process whereby you are putting yourself on trial for what exactly? loving a woman? like for real said, people will learn about your sexuality through whoever you happen to be with at the time. By making coming out in to some kind of monumental event what are you saying about same sex attraction? I'm also not implying that you are making too much of a big deal out of it because we all seek approval from the people that are close to us. If coming out is indeed a rite of passage when it comes to stating our sexuality then I think my own coming out party is way overdue! lololol!
I agree with everything that has been said here; just be yourself, and understand that the best way for people to find out is in you dating around.
as one who thought coming out was necessary when I was younger, now, I simply say I'm who I am.
I don't advertise my sexual preference (in fact, I don't put a label on it at all) nor do I get offended if people don't accept it. as long as you do, that is and should be all that matters.
I know for me, came out a few years ago and some of my family knows. If a person ask me of I like women: I would say yes. I rather for my action speak for me.
I totally agree that no one should have to come out to their family. It's not as though you really owe them any explanations, but I also understand wanting to tell your family for yourself, as opposed to letting them find out about it from someone else. All I can say is that you have to find the balance that works best for you. When I was growing up, I knew that I liked men from an early age, but there was no adult that I knew of that I could go to and talk about it with. This was difficult for me. I told the story of when I got caught giving a guy head. I think the board is called, "Coming out." There are people in my family that still don't know, and I plan to keep it that way, for two reasons. One is that I really just don't need the drama, and second, I know that it would really crush and hurt them. They're backwards redneck people from a small town in west Tennessee. The people who are closest to me do know. I've lost a few friends over it, but I'm pretty sure that I'm better off without those people, even though it isn't the outcome I would have chosen.
oh, I got sidetracked, so forgot to finish my point in the last post. As I said, I didn't know of any adults that I could talk to, but that was way back in the 80's. Now that the internet is around, there's at least plenty of ways to research and there are plenty of other testimonials to read, so you don't have to feel so alone. Best of luck to you, however you decide to handle it.
I'm proud to be just be myself. .. .i've come to the turms...
was gay for years before I became a Christian and realized that life wasn't for me. I will tell you as many others did be yourself. People will find out by your actions and they will either except you or not. When I was a teen and came out to my mom, she actually laughed and said she had known for a few years. Stay strong in whatever you decide and true to yourself smiles.
I don't think I can add much to what's been said here already and I believe it's good advice.
However, I think the most important thing with discovering your sexuality is being honest with yourself and to do it on your own terms.
I am not by or gay my self but a lot of my friends are and having known them while coming out for their family and friends I believe the process is as variable as the people themselves. Some decide to do it all at once while others do it gradually over a long time. So just good luck with coming out! And here is a fun video that I think every 15 year old should watch in sex ed. And no, it's not about how lesbians do it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXAoG8vAyzI